sunday

I tried to follow Marije's advice and not blog too much, I lasted one day as you can see :) But today is sunday, and sunday is usually one of those days that no-one has much to do (or does much), so then there is time to blog.. I've just arrived at the office and starting to feel a bit better, so maybe I should not start writing about this, but the last few days I was just thinking that maybe these were a little bit too much changes for me.. First, to move, which is a big change to begin with, then to leave my boyfriend, family and friends all behind because I moved so far away. And to add to that I moved to a country where I don't speak the language, which makes things twenty times as hard, and last (the reason behind it all) I started a new job at which I want to perform well. I mean, any of these changes alone would ask a lot from someone, but all of them together, I don't know if I can handle it. I say to myself that I must handle it, because it is good to be strong right? But talking with Marieke about leaving home for a long time and how everyone says that it is so good to have experience abroad and and so great to live in another country (i remember that Elia said that for him it didn't matter in which country he lived), it ofcourse differs per person, but I think we agreed that sometimes it is not so bad too admit that you actually rather would be home. Ofcourse it's not possible now. Still, I start to admire people who live in another country than their own more and more ;)
And don't get me wrong, it's not all so bad here, not at all. The country is very beautiful, Francesco, Lucia, Ilaria, Fabrizio and Adriana are all very nice and friendly, I still like what I am doing job-wise.. It's just that I miss all of you so much!
And I know that I should not be asking everyone for advice on what to do to make myself more at home here, because I only feel like I'm not doing things good enough, not being sociable enough, not learning Italian good enough (I really want to learn but I don't know how!), not arranging things like getting a bike, doing a course or some other activity. It's all just too much stress. I know things will just go slowly and in my manner (as it always does :D) it's hard to change your character... I am just not very outgoing (or at least not when I don't know people yet), so I cannot change this right now and be very outgoing all of a sudden.. Would it make things easier? Yes, for sure. But can I change myself like that, no I don't think so.. So I just have to wait a bit and see if I'm starting to feel better or not.. And when not, I can always make some kind of drastic decision, but not yet... First I have to try and try and try and then we will see..
And probably I will see all of you at the end of April when Francesco visits Maastricht.. Hahaha it is so strange, because from one perspective you could say, that's only in four weeks! But when days lasts like weeks, and weeks like months, it's a long time..
Yesterday evening was fun though, I watched Pride&Prejudice (again hahaha) together with Ilaria in my room, and we ate in the mensa of la Normale (which is actually called Scuola Normale Superiore hahaha how contradicting), and on friday we also ate there and afterwards studied together, so we had fun :). Only when I have too much time to think, like in the mornings this weekend, it goes wrong. Hehe guess I was just too socially spoiled in Maastricht, with all those nice people surrounding me all the time :) Well, tomorrow a busy work-week will hopefully start, so see you all soon!!