New black and white pics

So I developed (or actually let someone else develop it for me.. Toooo lazy:P) some new black and white pics.. It took forever to get them back, because apparently they send the TX films to Brussels.. Don't ask me why.. Anne and I tried to find out why the TX film is so special that it has to be send to yet another lab (maybe it just needs a different developing fluid), but besides the fact that it is apparently thé film for the serious photographer :) we couldn't find anything..
I ofcourse screwed the pics over immediately by looking at them in the rain. I couldn't care less untill i realised that I was paying about 60 cents per picture.. I really should start flirting with those guys again and get special (non-existing) student discounts or reply with "yes" when they ask me again whether I'm from the art academy (which also includes discount).. But I'm too honest ofcourse hahaha.. Anyways.. It looks likes the good film actually paid off, I'm quite happy with it.. I do have to learn how to focus in the dark or upside down looking in the camera on the tripod, because some are really out of focus (also due to the moving (bad!) people and the very very small diaphragm). Had fun though! :)
Well.. my scanner is not to great, but the pics can be found on my picasaweb account..
*hmmm really have to clean my camera lens more often..*
*hmm those scans are reálly bad..*
http://picasaweb.google.com/Aline.deBorst/MoreBlackAndWhite

International Dinner Party!

A more happier subject: the IDP! The idea was simple, to organise a dinner party where all people from the different nationalities we have at the uni make their home specialty.. I already had heard many people brag about their cooking skills (or heard positive stories about those skills) and the terrible dutch cuisine had been often the subject of our lunch conversations. So it seemed like a cool idea to put some of this into practise, and make it an enjoyable experience with my nice colleagues.. So together with Marin we started organising this and on the way forced Peter (Marin's boss) to make his home available for the event. Usually when social events are organised for the 4th floor, about half or less of the people show up. So we were counting on about 15 people or so. Unfortunately (or fortunately hahaha) almost everyone decided it was a great idea and joined us! So our easy to organise, small event, turned into a little bit more challenging to organise, big event! Hahaha, luckily Marin and I have quite a lot of organising talents (really yes :P) and Peter was also willing to help. Ofcourse everything was last minute anyway hehe.. Getting 32 plates, chairs, wineglasses, some big tables etc is not that easy! This was a little bit because Peter preferred to have everyone sit at the table, to make a sofisticated dinner party (hehe yeah right, with those people.. :P).
Well, anyhow... It was nice! I think the pictures give an image of what was going on.. hahaha.. The first set is mostly shot by me till the going out (with Peter's camera). Peter, Bert, Fede and maybe some others hehe also shot some :). The second are mostly Noël's.. Enjoy! :P
http://picasaweb.google.com/Aline.deBorst/IDP
http://picasaweb.google.com/Aline.deBorst/IDP_NoL

[edit] I forgot to say: compliments to all the cooks! (Also forgot to say that in real life hehe, but I think everyone is already a little junk-emailed by me already, so maybe it's not such a good plan..:)). But everyone really put effort into it, which made this as nice as it was.. [/edit]

loss

You know, last post I was writing about losing people, and then you lose someone, or passes away, like my grandfather. My photography teacher wrote me: I'm so sorry for you, it's hard, even though it is expected, but in a way I didn't really expect it. We ofcourse knew that he was at the end of his strength, but I somehow still had hope and believe that he would be saved. I didn't expect that someone could die from not eating. It seems so... trivial. I thought that someone would have done something to make him better, not to just examine him and send him home. Is a life less worth when you are at the end of it? Why didn't anyone do anything? Feed him every day, put food trough a tube.. Should I have done something? Why didn't I? Was this just it?
I mean, ofcourse the care of my grandmother and coping with her dementia, it's unbelievable how he managed and loved her, and wanted to keep her with him. And all the things I never knew about him and my grandmother and their lives. And all these things you want to know but never you decide to go by and ask about this untill it is too late. When I was in Pisa he wrote me this incredible letter to give me strenght and hope and to make the missing of my love less. He wrote how he and my grandmother (they were engaged then I think) were seperated in the war, how my grandmother was imprisoned because she was a courier, how Eindhoven (where he was) was bombed, how the letters they wrote each other during the war were only delivered áfter the war. All the things they went trough.. It makes the things you are going trough seem like nothing if you think of this..
Why is dying so hard? And how can you decide to stop living? And not regret it?
When my (other) grandmother died I was there next to her, and in a way it was good, because she was at the end of her life, but still at the last moment she fought. And I miss her, even though I didn't know her very well either, I could feel that we are very alike. And my grandfather now died in his sleep, with his children close to him. But the days before, when he decided to stop, it must have been so hard for my mum. And to see her and my grandma at the funeral, I cannot grasp what it must be like to lose a parent or partner and I hope it will still be a very long time before I will have to know.
These changes of life are too hard..